L - Lune and Lanturne

 Weekly Scribblings #65 : Bird is the Word

 

Lune

I've mentioned Brazilian haiku and Japanese haiku and Israeli haiku, but is there a form of haiku known as American?  Yes!  The Lune.  It was invented by Robert Kelly.  

3 lines

syllables 5/3/5

Later, Jack Collom introduced the word count variant of 5/3/5, which is now the most popular Lune form.

That's it, no other rules.  More freedom, fewer syllables than haiku, and yet this form was more difficult for me than some others.  So few syllables to make the words matter more.   I wrote one of each variety.  The first using the syllable count, the second, words.


What of Love?


of what do we speak

late at night

what love do we seek? 


Trash Talking Bird

 

Crow sits in the tree

loudly talking trash

to the cat watching below

 

Lanturne, or Lantern poetry, is considered by some to be a form of cinquain.  It's origin is unknown, although it's possible it's Japanese.  It forms the shape of a Japanese lantern.  Use your imagination, mine don't!  It is sometimes mentioned that each line must be able to stand on its own, making sense in itself.  If that's the case, mine fails.  Also, I read on one site (only one), that the first line describes a noun, the second describes the noun or the noun's action, the third further describes the noun, and fourth even further, and the fifth be another word for the noun.  That's an awful lot of describing a noun!  Not to mention, no other sources give that requirement.  The others all have a sweet and simple two requirement list.

Again, I wrote two.  Yes, crows again!  They are my favorite bird and often keep me company from the top the cedars.

5 lines

1/2/3/4/1 

 Day Break

 

dew

glistens

at day break

pearls of water

bead

 

Crow

 

crow

so loud

a black bird

in the cedar

tree

 

©2021 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved

 

Comments

  1. WOW! A veritable tutorial. I enjoyed them all!

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    Replies
    1. I wasn't familiar with either form until I researched for the A-Z Challenge.

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  2. My favourite style no matter the country of origin. Nice pieces Versesmith.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. I read that Japanese words have more syllables than English, so would have more words. Some wanted to "fix" that.

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    2. It is the other way: Japanese 'syllables' are shorter than ours, so our haiku of 5/7/5 can sound clunky to a Japanese ear. Therefore the so-called 'English language haiku' of short/long/short with fewer syllables is widely accepted now.

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    3. Good to know, Rosemary! I read it on masterclass.com "...writing a haiku in English isn’t the same as writing one in Japanese. Japanese words tend to have more syllables than English words..." But, just now I see it's not as simple as syllables.

      http://www.nahaiwrimo.com/home/why-no-5-7-5#:~:text=Some%20Japanese%20words%20have%20the%20same%20number%20of,and%20in%20certain%20other%20cases%2C%20as%20already%20mentioned%29.

      But, as I only know English, I have to stick to 5/7/5 for haiku!

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    4. 5/7/5 is fine of course. Many wonderful haiku in English are written that way. I think, as Michael points out, the real point is that syllable count is the least important rule of haiku. Sadly, so many Western schoolteachers convince kids that it is the only rule. Lunes give us more scope for including Western poetic devices not acceptable in strict haiku.
      Do please forgive me for introducing all these technical discussions into your post. I don't mean to be didactic, nor to take away from your absolutely beautiful poems. Just that I get so fascinated by such matters.

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    5. No problem, Rosemary! It is interesting!

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  3. Oh, I liked these very much, thanks. I had a little Lunefest of my own back on Day 6: https://rlavalette.wordpress.com/2021/04/06/lunefest/
    But I've never heard of the Lanturne. You KNOW I'm gonna try that one out sometime soon, right?
    Write on.

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    Replies
    1. Yours are very clever! I am only doing the NoPoWriMo on Sundays, and if they happen to go along with whatever the form of the day is. I think that happened once.

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  4. It is always good to read the style of other poets.

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  5. Oh, I like the syllable count and the word count versions next to each other!
    I like lantern poems. That's one form I'm familiar with, at one time I enjoyed writing them :)

    The Multicolored Diary

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    Replies
    1. And now, tell us the truth, you're thinking of writing them again, right? You enjoyed it!

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  6. Liked all of these...will try them this month

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    Replies
    1. I'm learning so many new forms by doing them A-Z. It opens up a lot, and many are syllabic, for the prompts calling for that.

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  7. I've never yet met a crow that did not talk trash!

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    1. They excel in it! It proves they're smart I think, like "bratty" children or naughty dogs who both get bored. I loved your blackbird poem, just loved it. I did picture the birds as black birds, though, crows!

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  8. A great range of forms and I especially love the one about the crow.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much. Crows inspire poetry!

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  9. You handled these beautifully! I like playing with both forms of lune myself, sometimes. Had forgotten them awhile; thanks for reminding me. There is also, of course, the American sentence, invented by Ginsberg as a substitute for the haiku, but to my mind not as satisfying as the lunes. I'd not heard of the Lanturne but can't wait to try it now. (The description you found in only one place is more usually given as one kind of Cinquain.) PS I love crows too; I think many of us do.

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  10. PS I have just been checking and I see there are variations now in how the lune (of either kind) is taught. Some say as you do, others that the count per line in both cases is 3/5/3. I first learnt it as the Kelly lune being 3/5/3 syllables and the Collum lune 5/3/5 words. I guess things evolve and change, or perhaps it's the Chinese whisper syndrome. So long as the end result is poetry....

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  11. Thanks for the reminders of these forms and your lovely examples.

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