Legend of the Black Rose
My first (accidental*) haibun.
photo prompt: the photo has been removed from the original link
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The carrion birds are circling. Something lays dead in the forest. Alarmed by the
stranger thrashing through the underbrush, trailing flame, the stags, unaccustomed
to humans, only raise their heads to watch. Soon the birds will land, joined by
other scavengers. Coyote, fox, vulture, raccoon. The insects appear. Cockroach,
fly, ant, scurrying black beetle. Bones are carried off, one by one, to be
cracked by jaws for their sweet greasy marrow. After the snow flies, after the
snow melts away, no trace is to be found.
The legend will tell
Blossoming in the clearing
A single black rose
©2020 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved
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*In looking at the image I couldn't stop seeing these circling crows or ravens. Combined with the black flowers and the fleeing woman, I took a darker route than some. I also forgot this was Tanka Tuesday, and needed to be syllabic! So, I first wrote it as a free verse, which I am posting below. I like the original better, if only for the last line. Plus I like the word "fable" better than "legend," but needed two syllables. It also has a different title.
A Murder of Crows
The carrion birds are circling.
Something lays dead in the forest.
Alarmed by the stranger thrashing
through the underbrush,
trailing flame,
the stags, unaccustomed to humans,
only raise their heads to watch.
Soon the birds will land,
joined by other scavengers.
Coyote, fox, vulture, raccoon.
The insects appear.
Cockroach, fly, ant, scurrying black beetles.
Bones are carried off,
one by one,
to be cracked by jaws
for their sweet greasy marrow.
After the snow flies,
after the snow melts away,
no trace is to be found.
In a fable we would find
a single black rose
blooming in the clearing.
This isn’t that fable.
©2020 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved
So beautifully assembled
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteWhat a beautiful poem. The original one is really excellent. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I preferred the original too!
DeleteHow interesting that you did two of them. Comparing the two was fascinating. Well done on both counts.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I didn't have a choice but to rewrite the original, as I forgot it needed to be syllabic!
DeleteThank you. I really can be difficult. But, as you say, fun, once I remember to do it!
ReplyDelete