Pain - a concrete poem


prompt: "...write poetry or prose that explores psychological or physical pain
 
I thought of the pain of a broken heart, and visualized it cracking.  I planned it to be the pain of losing someone to death, but didn't go that way.  I wanted something different today, so here's a simple, very simple, little concrete poem.

 love's       warmth
 a treasure forever kept
with kisses, hugs
forever faithful
forever
lov
e  

p
ain
betray\al
love faith/less
a  broken / dream
a    fractur\ed   heart
pain      \ pain


Comments

  1. How absolutely wonderful to see both versions of your concrete poem! I miss seeing the visual poems that were once so popular, at least in my neck of the woods. (Alas not all that good at creating them myself but do enjoy reading/seeing.) Nowadays it seems that many people understand a concrete poem as only meaning a shape poem (like your second version here). Shape poems are good; yours here is brilliant – but I do love the instantaneous effect of the even more visual version.

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  2. Enjoyed your visual poems
    Have a good weekend

    Much💛love

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  3. Nice poem form, Lisa.
    Heartbreak pain is awful, hurts in a different way.
    ..

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  4. I really like the structure. I also enjoy the fact that both stanzas speak in words and in visual. Love is a wonderful thing, indeed... but it can certainly break us and leave us full of jagged bits.

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  5. Enjoyed the concrete poetry here.
    it's not always easy and you double the effort here by having another verse in total contrast to the first. :)

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  6. I liked this very much. The heart and the heart broken. Rightside up and upside down and that's the way it feels when you're in love and then feel the pain of its loss.

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  7. Hearts are easy to break and difficult to mend. You've brought back memories.

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  8. The form of this is so cool! Effective, too.

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