I'm Surrounded by Faces on the Walls - a sonnet
Friday Writings #184: Let's Go Formal
"Your (optional) prompt this week is to write a limerick, a ballad, or a sonnet – or to write on the subject of formality without necessarily doing so in formal verse (or even any kind of verse). If you choose to write a sonnet, the particular kind is up to you (Shakespearian, Petrarchian, Clarian, Curtal, American ...) but please do let us know."
I have attempted to write a Shakespearean Sonnet. This is actually my first sonnet attempt, so be gentle with the comments please!
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| Harvey, in author's collection |
I'm surrounded by faces on the walls.
They watch me go about my daily chores
in the dining room, parlor, and the halls,
reflected in glass above the drawers.
The darkness of night obscures them from view,
mere reprieve from their contemptuous glance.
Safe again 'til daybreak's pale light breaks through
to catch the last of midnight's eerie dance.
By radiant daylight they look benign
with vacant eyes ne'er moving, voices mute.
Step nearer, look!, there is never a sign,
for they watch as still as death absolute.
With bedeviled mind, moonstruck fool am I,
perhaps tonight I'll dance with them... or try.
©2025 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved
Lisa, your try was great. I feel you're doing great at the dance. Rhymes make the reading so enjoyable. And they're hard to do sometimes saying what one wants to do.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful first attempt! Congratulations: it’s both brave and successful. A very interesting idea. (I love Harvey! Are you the artist?) Your rhyming is clear but feels unforced – quite a feat! – and you have a very nice volta. Shakespeare himself was strict about iambic pentameter, apart from the occasional variation to prevent monotony, but contemporary sonnets often use syllable count instead, and in that you are faultless, with 10 in every line.
ReplyDeleteI used to be afraid of sonnets, until Samuel Peralta’s ‘Form for All’ posts at dVerse, quite a number of tears ago now, instructed us in many ways of writing them (including modern variations such as blue sonnets and haiku sonnets) in such a way as to make them seem easy after all. They can become addictive!
If you’re interested in learning more / getting addicted, it’s not easy to get to al Sam’s dVerse posts now, but if you search my previous poetry blog, The Passionate Crone ( https://passionatecrone.blogspot.com/ ), scroll down to bottom of page and click on the tag Sonnets, and then go to the earliest, my links will still take you there. My later sonnets link to others prompt sites which may be useful too (though Poetic Asides appears no longer to exist).
Anyway, well done and have fun!
Thank you so much for your kind words, and information! No, I did not paint Harvey. The artist signed it "Harvey," so I call it that! I don't paint. My father did, and quite well. I use pastels, but am out of practice.
DeleteI like the image of the speaker filling a house with face images and then starting to feel creeped out by them. I don't know how often it happens, but it does sound plausible!
ReplyDeletePK
Well done for a first attempt, Lisa! I liked the theme and I've had a similar feeling with some of the paintings I have hanging at my house - problem is I've painted them! That makes it all that more creepy - however, they get constantly renewed...
ReplyDeleteHa! That's funny!
DeleteI hereby award you a Gold Medal! First time and a big success!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
DeleteI would never guess this was a first time sonnet. Lovely!
ReplyDelete