Craigslist Excuses

I have a pup named Russell 

He needs a home, please call 

I bought him for a thousand

But adding food and all 

I guess he’s worth a million

He’s a family member now 

I’ll take a thousand fifty

Which includes his leash and chow 

My wife is pregnant, due today

The dog he has to go 

No time for both a baby

And a dog, as you well know

Russell is just 2 months old

We’ve had him for a week 

I can’t afford to keep him

But a lifelong home I seek 

It costs too much to feed him

Or give him needed shots

I lost my job just yesterday

But, we love Russell lots

He wanders off the property

We do not have a fence 

The landlord says he has to go

Things are pretty tense 

I’ll meet you at the Walmart

And you can have him there

You give me cash, then take the pup

And we can call it fair 

The money doesn’t matter

There's a principle at stake

Money proves you’ll take good care

and not a flipper flake

I knew my wife was pregnant

My job in a decline

When we got little Russell

I knew my housing on the line

Don’t lecture me about it

You’re nothing but a troll

Just pay me twenty-five more

I’ll throw in Russell’s bowl

I'd really like a dog though

So come to think of it

I'll trade Russell in a minute

for a big un-altered Pit

  ©2019 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved

This poem was inspired by an actual Craigslist posting about a dog named Russell needing a home.  

The "reasons" people give for re-homing are often outrageous and irresponsible.