Craigslist Excuses

I have a pup named Russell 
He needs a home, please call 

I bought him for a thousand
But adding food and all 

I guess he’s worth a million
He’s a family member now 

I’ll take a thousand fifty
Which includes his leash and chow 

My wife is pregnant, due today
The dog he has to go 

No time for both a baby
And a dog, as you well know

Russell is just 2 months old
We’ve had him for a week 

I can’t afford to keep him
But a lifelong home I seek 

It costs too much to feed him
Or give him needed shots

I lost my job just yesterday
But, we love Russell lots

He wanders off the property
We do not have a fence 

The landlord says he has to go
Things are pretty tense 

I’ll meet you at the Walmart
And you can have him there

You give me cash, then take the pup
And we can call it fair 

The money doesn’t matter
There's a principle at stake

Money proves you’ll take good care
and not a flipper flake

I knew my wife was pregnant
My job in a decline

When we got little Russell
I knew my housing on the line

Don’t lecture me about it
You’re nothing but a troll

Just pay me twenty-five more
I’ll throw in Russell’s bowl

I'd really like a dog though
So come to think of it

I'll trade Russell in a minute
for a big un-altered Pit

  ©2019 Lisa Smith Nelson. All Rights Reserved

This poem was inspired by an actual Craigslist posting about a dog named Russell needing a home.  
The "reasons" people give for re-homing are often outrageous and irresponsible. 


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